dance dance dance

blumdabeedum dum dum dum doo dumm

"Someday I'll fly
Someday I'll soar
Someday I'll be so damn much more
Cause I'm bigger than my body gives me credit for"

yup yup!

HERE's another!

"Welcome to the real world", she said to me
Condescendingly
Take a seat
Take your life
Plot it out in black and white
Well I never lived the dreams of the prom kings
And the drama queens
I'd like to think the best of me
Is still hiding
Up my sleeve

They love to tell you
Stay inside the lines
But something's better
On the other side

I wanna run through the halls of my high school
I wanna scream at the
Top of my lungs
I just found out there's no such thing as the real world
Just a lie you've got to rise above

So the good boys and girls take the so called right track
Faded white hats
Grabbing credits and
Maybe transfers
They read all the books but they can't find the answers
And all of our parents
They're getting older
I wonder if they've wished for anything better
While in their memories
Tiny tragedies

They love to tell you
Stay inside the lines
But something's better
On the other side

I wanna run through the halls of my high school
I wanna scream at the
Top of my lungs
I just found out there's no such thing as the real world
Just a lie you got to rise above

I am invincible(3x)
As long as I'm alive

I just can't wait till my 10 year reunion!!

-quotable quotes ni john mayer

i'm currently reading:

7 Habits of Highly Effective People by Stephen Covey (got it for only P350! hahaha)
- super appropriate sa akin. kailangan ko na atang ayusin ang buhay ko. hmm everything is meaningless and so we're on a quest to put some meaning in this nothingness we are in. let's keep gobbling! gubble gubble nothing away hahaha

Winning with People by John Maxwell
- can't live without them!

The Greatest Salesman in the World
-reminds me of Arabian nights
-meditations. i'm still in scroll marked II

The Heart of Understanding by THICH NHAT HANH
-empty of a separate self

guess what, today's gonna be a great day!

each day i could make it the greatest day of my life. but i wouldn't wait until tomorrow. now is the start and tomorrow will even be better. no more excuses. no more stalling. no more later, now.

haargh! the least i wanna be is sound cliche, but i know nevertheless i don't care, it's true, ima take myself and my dreams to the moon!

Maybe I've been the problem
Maybe I'm the one to blame
But even when I turn it off and blame myself
The outcome feels the same

I've been thinkin' maybe I've been partly cloudy
Maybe I'm the chance of rain
And maybe I'm overcast and maybe
All my luck's washed down the drain

-stars, switchfoot

Help is wanted

i wish i have freedom na and i don't have to deal with people or new people. meeting new people is no problem - at my own time. i wanna do it coz i wanna do it not because i have to meet a requirement.. hay i know i know, this is but a sacrifice for my dreams. well, okay il try doing it without thinking about the requirement. ok, il try to talk to people, jst because - not with any underlying motive other than the fact that i want to. pero kung ganun nga, i won't be talking to much people talaga. il jst keep to myself.

myself wants to be alone. oh well, not really. basta alone with people jst a few people. here i am again!! waah back to level one. oh dear me.

sartre said that there could be no selves without the other. this is because we only recognize the self when the other looks at us. each person has a free self. that's why we have ultimate freedom. the only thing we are not free of is freedom itself. grrr

things to ask miss on monday:
when sartre talks about freedom, does this include freedom from the consequences of our actions? what about our freedom when others stop us or try to control us. are we still free?

hay. okay okay. dapat ata no complaining and no blaming ulit yung theme ko for the week. but wait, this is a negative motivation. hmmm.. i don't wanna be motivated by desperation. okay. hmmmm
dapat i must change for a joyous day! ima save for a joyous day. ima wait for it. no no. i have the power to make my day joyous. hahaha this exercise is so funny. spare this entire entry. i need this. there's no more hiding.

you know what, im going back to what i left behind before. wala lang. yung system kasi ng synergy is so similar to the christian discipleshipand all. but sometimes i wanna go back na. to that something ive gotten used to - to God being in my life. but no im not that used to it anymore. im stuck in the middle actually. hay

comfortable..watever. this is so magulo...yes this is just a few things in my mind. kailangan ko lang siguro ilabas. wala nang thought sa tinatype ko basta labas lang ng labas. mental vomit ika nga. purging. sabi ni HarV Eker na "your inner world reflects your outer world." the preceding statements reflects my inner world right now and 2 or 3 days ago. each day is different actually. change and all.

people change with me. or maybe it's all in the head as mamita always said. anyways, this has been a melancholic article. il just post here my dreams or wishlists in life or things i wanna do na lang para at least maging masaya naman or at least dreamful!

DREAMS (not in any particular order):

1. i wanna have my first aid and CPR license back. i wanna have a lifeguard cert as well. i miss those days in the AV Room during first year HS learning about first aid and CPR. i wanna help people in their emergencies - but help me first.

3. i wanna study philosophy for fun. a masters degree won't be bad.

4. i wanna study in UP also. maski anong course hehe. theater na lang o geology hehe criminology! ay, music na lang.

2. get drunk

5. join the nationals this march!!

6. perform at fort.pinikpikan

7. mag-frisbee. may klase kasi ako pag thursday nights ng 730 so nd me makasali sa frisbee team ng lasal eh. isang malaking HAAAY

32. track 15 of better than ezra.

39. stare at the moon all night

56. my drum lessons

58. eat at le souffle

69. some kindof lazy nights

25. have a house beside a lake with a white swing. it's autumn and im swinging there. parand dawson's creek scene or britney spears sometime video

36. go to gateway again and watch movie.

85. capoeira, aikido, kalari

54. absolutly absolut

13. sagasa a dog or cat. but i jst can't do it. im da super harmless person you'll ever meet

16. dreams pa rin ba mga 'to? haha

18. maging black belter this year

19. maging ruby this year

20. help my sickly family members

22. right now, sleep

today is a good day, i could say.

we've been talkin bout me too much. now, let's talk about YOU. im interested. watsup? or watsdown? whichever way you prefer..

between facticity and transcendence
anguish
the middle
the thing in between
right now
the present
change
flux

hmmm

well, i wanna go to felymar's bibingkahan but i dont wanna eat bibingka, perhaps just their salabat.

i like organizing my ipod. i like my audio collection - now with precious new additions of audio books and coaches.

my thesis in comarts is finished with grade of 3.0!
i make things happen.

i will definitely miss miggilita but we keep in touch.

i am a black belter at the end of this year.

i love eating! i order without looking at the right side of the page.

Our OFW Remittances thesis is best thesis in mfi for first term SY2006-2007.

i love and care for my family and friends.

i drive like a ferrari driver, fast and sleek.

i manage my things and my time well.

i drink green tea frappe like water.

i sleep around 12pm-1am and wake up around 730am.

i am happy just because.

today. i was reading a book and it told of "recalling positive emotional experiences from the past and focusing on the future" to keep away from the depression torpedo. it took me quite a while to think of positive emotional experiences. ano ba? hmm until now im searching. well, ok. it's hard thinking of it. and so, instead,

il start making and living those emotional experiences. expect me to enumerate after a year. well, ok, a day at a time, ika nga. all right, il choose. no one else to blame. sabi nga, "you're life right now is the result of your choices five years ago." i dont know how accurate that is. i think it's more of five days ago. hahaha. but whatever it is, i choose, i resolve that today's gonna be a great day.

sobrang idealistic ba? here we go again. probably it comes with the desire of wanting to please everybody. i still want to be that person with a wistful countenance, that person with a cynic soul, despondent and detached. but i want to be that idealistic person - well, a real happy whole person. happy and jovial, hopeful and wishful. is it foolish to wish for more?

an?

"The major key to your better future is you. Lock your mind onto that. This is a super important point to remember. The major key is you. A friend of mine has always answered when asked, "How do you develop an above average income?" He says, "Simple. Become an above average person. Work on you." My friend says, "Develop an above average handshake." He says, "A lot of people want to be successful, and they don't even work on their handshake. As easy as that would be to start, they let it slide. They don't understand." My friend says, "Develop an above average smile. Develop an above average excitement. Develop an above average dedication. Develop an above average interest in other people." He says, "To have more, become more." Remember; work harder on yourself than you do on your job. For a long time in my life, I didn't have this figured out." -jim rohn

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"Are you ready to start? When the whistle blows, will you be ready to take off from the starting line, or will you be sitting on the bench tying your shoes?"
-Jeffery Combs

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too serious too handle. here's to the good times ahead! cheers!

i smell sex and candy here.
Who's that casting devious stares
In my direction?

ive not met people until now who is as interested in my success as i am. sometimes even more interested. but what's interesting about this situation is the fact that it's a win-win situation for them and me. great! it's a loveRly feeling!
here's to living our dreams!

these days i hear and read these lines very often:
"The Philippines is going crazy... or maybe it was crazy to begin with."
"The Philippines is a mess..."
"Nagkakagulo na sa Pilipinas"
"Bukas wala ng presidente"
"Bina stock market be to lo..." (Tomorrow, the stock market will crash) - papa

i've stopped listening and watching the news this year. well, since way back i've avoided the news. i didn't like the sensationalism. i didn't appreciate media capitalizing on others' misfortunes. but it was only at the start of this year that i told myself not to watch, read, or hear news anymore. business, lifestyle, arts and culture, sports are ok but not main page news.

right now, where the Philippines is, i believe these are the days when opportunities and solutions are aplenty and are knocking, rather hammering our doors.

i'd like to use the metaphor of a household. the philippines is like a household. each citizen is a member of the household. whenever there are conflicts among us, we fight over it like rambunctious ignorant children. although in victories, we may stop and enjoy our cookies for a while, but we still mumble about other things we dislike. when there are low pressure areas, and forecasters predict a storm coming, instead of preparing, we blame each other for the upcoming storm.

this phenomenon is best illustrated in the oil crisis we experienced the past year. while crude prices were going up, some of us blame the government, the oil companies and other blameable figures. "we blame everyone except ourselves," some analysts say. But in reality, we need not blame anyone, even ourselves. The oil price hikes are out of our control and not the fault of anyone in household.

we should have prepared for the typhoon and planned the wise use of our resources. And so, we could've worked together, peacefully, efficiently using - even enjoying - our resources while the typhoon was unleashing its capricious wrath.

at the moment, we are experiencing an internal conflict within the household. other lodgers, members of the family, visitors, etc. don't like our "parents." others want to put new "step-parents" or put in place the legitimate "parent" - whichever way you prefer. We've gotten to a point where we are so used to hearing fights that we lock ourselves into our rooms. We don't know what to do but sometimes. and so others cry; others unleash their anger and frustration; others opt to rebel; others can't take it and leave the house. Nevertheless, there are still others who don't know anything about the conflict - by choice or otherwise.

there are also some, though very few, who knows something about the conflict but understands that there is little to no possibility of directly influencing or pacifying the conflict. What these people do is that they make sure they still live comfortably- even successfully - in spite of, or for some, even because of the conflict. others who have big visions, knock on others' room doors and share about their wisdom that one can live successfully in spite of the conflict inside the house.

The last kind of household members are relentless and they hammer on people's doors with much enthusiasm and eagerness to share such wisdom. but because they know that it is a really big house, they move on to the next room to knock, and encourage those who has opened their doors to such wisdom to knock on other people's doors too.

anyways, what i really want to say is that these are DAYS of OPORTUNITIES and SOLUTIONS. What opportunities and solutions you ask? well, we become more aware of our need for unity. this time, let's set aside our differences and work on for a better future. this may sound so idealistic but that's it! we begin with an end in mind and then work on it. solutions are all around us. when did we really commit to work them out as a nation and as individuals??

right now, honestly, i firmly believe in starting with ourselves. it sounds so cliche but it really does. let's just put it this way. will it make you feel better if you focus on the news or at least keep yourself posted with every "unfolding of events"? well, the answer is NO- whether you like it or not!

FOCUS on what you could do as an individual to better yourself and your living condition, and then infect others with the energy you put in developing yourself and in making yourself happy -even ecstatic!

We just need to open our doors, our minds to the opportunities. we need to look for solutions within and outside ourselves and also outside of the "house". We should knock on others' doors as well. The least that could happen is that we'll enjoy our days while our "parents" and other household members make their lives miserable. So cheers to us!! and STOP listening, reading, and watching NEWS!

by the way, just a last note, everyone knows that MNC's such as unilever, procter and gamble are investing millions and millions of dollars and pesoses in advertising. what they're actually doing is that they're betting millions even close to billions of dough that you will buy their product just by watching a 30-second ad in primetime TV. Now, think what a 30-minute dose of NEWS will do to you! Maybe you'll just find yourself buying into martial law! *

Garbage IN garbage OUT!

*the last paragraph was inspired by an audio material.

naisip ko lang...

it's not about being guilty for wanting what you want instead of doing what you need. it's about wanting and doing the things you need in order to get what you want!!