Entries for October, 2006

October 1st, 2006

straight up

finished watching a lot like love. it's a very light movie.

there is this scene where oliver and emily are lying on the hood of the car in an LA national park at night. staring at the fool moon and talking about silly things like love.

Oliver: So did you love him?
Emily: No. Maybe. Well, maybe a little. (pause) Did you love Brigette?
Oliver: I don't know. I thought i did. i like to think i did. If it isn't love, it was a lot like it. well, i don't like talking about it, saying it out loud makes me sound stupid.
Emily:Honestly, if you're not willing to sound stupid you don't deserve to be in love.

i just found out i've never risked anything in my life. nothing valuable. i've gambled my smile, my eyes, my hands, my today, my mind, partly, my heart, partly, but never my whole heart - maybe to God for a while, not even my future i guess. i've never given up anything, always withheld that final thing.

how does it feel like to risk?
to let go? to jump? to fly? to fall over?

"you risk what you value"

maybe i've been too afraid. maybe i've been saving it up for this. maybe i was thinking too much. maybe.

------

Posted by wxyz at 10:13 PM | make me smile

IC: Why is your nails black?

Me: Because i like them black.

IC: It scares me.

Me: Really?

IC: You look like a vampire.

Me: Well, there are vampires that are good.

IC: No there are not. You scare me.

Me just woke up and 6year old IC. we're still friends.
Posted by wxyz at 11:00 PM | make me smile

October 2nd, 2006

life is beautiful.
Posted by wxyz at 03:06 PM | make me smile

watch Adaptation

it's strange how the books i read, the films i watch, the music i listen to speaks to me as my life unfolds. i don't know which one comes first. sometimes, these books, films, and music are part of the background, sometimes they're the foreground.

sometimes i notice that it seems like these works are made for me to live out. or sometimes it seems like they are transcribing me. i don't know if they're responsible for these feelings or events that extend themselves in me or maybe i just subconsciously take on whatever is in front of me and say that it came from me.

i've been reading Letters to a Young Poet, Poems New and Collected by W.S., First Year by Mark Yarnell, the Passion by JW, Greatest Salesman by Og Mandino, 21 Indispensible Qualities of a Leader by John Maxwell and Art of Seduction by Robert Greene simultaneusly.

i just finished reading The Passion. I watched the L Word. I'm watching Adaptation. Theo gave a Blue Diamond Destiny training last sat. Love is around. My dad is being nice. I'm working like i have a boss (which is good for my work.). I'm taking things slow. Starbucks has a whole new meaning. So many dimensions happening/unfolding/working at once. i do not know why or how things fit but they just do. sometimes i'd like to live one dimension moment further but i have to wait for the moment to happen again. life is what you make it slogans is everywhere. limitless possibility signboards. diner at rockwell.

ineffable as things are, i'd like to keep it that way. this time, i like things simple. i won't try to "de-perplex the perplexed." "the nudity of what is essential." "attention without tension." "through the flesh we are set free."

i don't know why i tell you this - as if you'd care as much as i do. but nevertheless i want to tell you. i like telling you. it is good for me. maybe it would be good for you too.
Posted by wxyz at 06:30 PM | make me smile

October 5th, 2006

welcome to planet earth

follow your bliss
Posted by wxyz at 10:23 PM | 3 smile

October 8th, 2006

the universe says: your wish is my command.

"you are what you love not what loves you." - Donal Kaufman

i realize now who my heart loves. i'm good to myself. i stop the randomness and ask for her number; the universe answers; i receive; i align myself to receive.

(the alignment part can be tricky at times but i'll learn it along the way.)

----

money matters (noun and verb)

the secret is fascinating. it's fun putting it to the test everyday. i'm excited for December to credit my two zero zero comma zero zero zero commission.

i can't wait to go to Singapore in June. i don't know how i will get there but i will.

it's fun seeing the people whom i'm helping. people who are earning money more than a manager does. i can't wait to see who the 5 people are in December.

"it's not about the money." (yea right, when you have it already!)
"it's not about the money." (yea right, cause you don't know how to get it.)
"it's not about the money." (giselle sexmith said you have to go through the process to understand thaaaat:
IT's NOT ABOUT THE MONEY!!)

rejection, attrition, late nights, stubbornness, deceit, disappointment, gas, driving in traffic, burning my ass off from sitting:
the pool's gonna be worth it. the smiles of people is worth it. the thank you's and hugs are worth it. the books are worth it, the cars, the films, the friends, the celebration, life is worth it!!!


Posted by wxyz at 11:21 AM | make me smile

i mean it

there's a magnificence in each person. there are just some who realize this sooner than the rest.

i realize that when i focus on living (as in really), i don't worry about the results/consequences as much. well, i don't worry anymore. i'm as neutral of the outcome because i already have a positive expectation that the outcome would be what i want. moreover, fear is reduced to its proper size.

darkness is comforting. it embraces you with a certain acceptance that light cannot give. light on the other hand, reveals. it embraces also with acceptance after the revelation. acceptance of both light and darkness and everything in between creates inner peace rather than being partial towards one. after all, everything is energy, even darkness. let me quote the quote: "rather than curse the darkness, light a candle."
let me quote my own, "rather than curse the light, cover your eyes."

-> hehehe. i have yet to test the wisdom on the last line. oo nga noh. throughout the ages, people have been partial to light. but darkness is so enticing and consoling.


oh well. whatever.

more than fine! more than just ok. ok. (even though i'm stil having allergies after a night of smoke clouds. *hachu!*)
Posted by wxyz at 11:32 AM | 5 smile

October 15th, 2006

I never understood before
I never knew what love was for
My heart was broke, my head was sore
What a feeling

Tied up in ancient history
I didnt believe in destiny
I look up you're standing next to me
What a feeling

What a feeling in my soul
Love burns brighter than sunshine
Brighter than sunshine
Let the rain fall, i don't care
I'm yours and suddenly you're mine
Suddenly you're mine
And it's brighter than sunshine

I never saw it happening
I'd given up and given in
I just couldn't take the hurt again
What a feeling

I didn't have the strength to fight
Suddenly you seemed so right
Me and you
What a feeling

What a feeling in my soul
Love burns brighter than sunshine
It's brighter than sunshine
Let the rain fall, I don't care
I'm yours and suddenly you're mine
Suddenly you're mine

It's brighter than the sun
It's brighter than the sun
It's brighter than the sun, sun, shine.

Love will remain a mystery
But give me your hand and you will see
Your heart is keeping time with me

What a feeling in my soul
Love burns brighter than sunshine
It's brighter than sunshine
Let the rain fall, I don't care
I'm yours and suddenly you're mine
Suddenly you're mine

brighter than Sunshine
Posted by wxyz at 08:57 AM | make me smile

October 22nd, 2006

analysis dialysis

i know i think too much. is it good or bad? nah, i've stopped thinking about that. what's good is what's beneficial. what's bad is not. (trying to keep things simple again.)

anyways, indulge me in this.

Commitment

scary word. lately though, after grasping a new definition of it, it's not so bad. definition: a decision to follow through with your decision. i want to practice it. maybe it's another word for integrity - keeping true to your word, especially to yourself. i'm gonna practice this. i wanna tell myself that i'll do something and then actually do it. i wanna be able to trust myself.

3 - second epiphany

you don't have to talk, to think, to analyze everything to prove you understand something. sometimes you could just keep staying in your flow. as long as you're doing it, you know it.

Worship

worship is beautiful. it's comforting. it does not have to leave you broken afterwards, anne. worship music is my comfort music, at least because it's more hopeful than other music. does that mean you're back? i don't know, i don't try to think about it. Two wonderful worship songs i rediscovered: Still and I Live to Know You by Hillsong

Playlist

it's official. "As Long as You're Mine" of the Broadway Musical Wicked is the top playing song in my list.

other songs i usually play lately: Brighter than Sunshine, Mint Car, ReNT songs, Si Tu No Estas Aqui and of course, si Mr. Harv Eker and other Blue Diamonds. haha

Stupid Habits (really)

i want to take these out of my system. they're so stupid because they don't even cut out to be stupid enough to other people's standards. it's plain lame, destructive in the long term and time wasting! mindless activities. i could say i was a thinking zombie, but not anymore.

i get easily distracted by anything interesting that comes along. well, what's important only depends on each person's dreams. in the long run, all those little petty things that seduce my attention will only show themselves as themselves - petty.

that's why i admire those people who are really good at what they do. people only become good at what they do because they focus themselves to be good at it - not because they have talent. so i focus on things that has value. i'm gonna major in the major things in life. minor things will take care of themselves.

as an artist, honestly, it's so difficult to do this. i value details. for me, even the little things has value. there's beauty in them. but maybe, little and minor are two different things. i'm not sure. value may be different for each person. but i know everyone has this thing inside of us that tells us that something is of value and that it seeks our nurturing. it's undeniable. we could shut it out temporarily, even for years, but it will resurface eventually.

yes, maybe. ok. i'll just trust this. i'll try this. i'll put the big rocks in jar first, and i'll trust that i could still put the grave, the sand, and the water inside.

Crossing the street

i like crossing streets, especially banawe street. whenever i park my car across Hi-Life or Starbucks.

Same Same

We don't have to be the same to love or like each other, appreciate others. that's a relief!
Posted by wxyz at 10:29 AM | make me smile

October 27th, 2006

planned neglect

A world-class violinist was interviewed and was asked what her secret was. She replied, "planned neglect". She explained that as a child, she had always wanted to be a concert violinist. But her chores, like doing the dishes, laundry, and sweeping, always got in the way. Everyday she'll do these chores and by the time she sat down to practice, she's already tired and aching all over. Finally, she decided to neglect these chores. She would focus on the most important (important means that which will lead you to your goal) thing first and that is to practice violin. Everyday she practiced. Only after her practice did she do her chores. And that is her secret.

How about you? Is there anything that you've been prioritizing over your dreams? Exercise "planned neglect".

---------------------------------------------------------------------
LET GO OF THE THINGS THAT KEEP YOU FROM YOUR ULTIMATE GOOD
by Lisa Jimenez, M.Ed.

"It's an offer I can't refuse," I told Randy during one of the
Mastermind Conference Calls. I was just offered a principal position
at a local Christian pre-school and had all these wonderful visions
of what it would be like...

I pictured the students, learning and growing under my direction. I
saw myself giving a smile and a hug to each one as they walked into
class every morning. I heard the teachers sharing their ideas with me
on how we could make our school better. I felt the parents patting me
on the back and shaking my hand in congratulations to a job well
done...

My thoughts were interrupted with Randy's voice over the other end of
the phone. "This isn't what you're supposed to be doing," he
lamented. "You are a professional speaker." I replied with the strong
argument that this might just be the time for me to get back to my
first career, which was teaching, and use my degree in school
leadership. I began sharing my vision of being a principal with him.
It was a waste of breath. Randy wasn't buying it. When I told him I
could do both, he went through an exhausting explanation of how I was
just getting seduced by the dark side of a regular paycheck. After a
couple of hours (actually it was only a few minutes), it was someone
else's turn, and I closed with the promise to think more about it
before making a decision.

That weekend, I was giving a presentation for the National Speakers
Association on how to build their speaking businesses.

Something strange, almost Super Natural, happened at that convention.
First, when I walked into the hotel, I noticed that there were two
conventions being held that weekend. One was for the Speakers
Association and the other for the Principals Association! .
Through out my entire stay, my conversations were either with a
speaker or a principal. The principals I talked with brought back
memories of why I left teaching. I remembered the bureaucracy
involved in the educational system. I was reminded of the mounds of
paperwork and long work hours. (I guess I forgot that part.) It
seemed that every time I talked with a principal they would ask me
how they, too, could get into professional speaking.

The other altering experience occurred during my presentation. In the
middle of my talk, a lady raised her hand with a question. "What do
you do when you are torn between two careers?" she asked. "Do you
think I can be successful in the speaking business if I'm working on
another career?" Her question shocked me. (To this day, I think Randy
must have set her up!) But what surprised me even more was my
response to her. It was as though God was speaking to her through me
and at the same time directing the answer - with great precision -
right to my heart.

"You can't serve two masters," I replied. "One will always suck the
energy from the other." The next thing I knew I was telling my
audience about the principal opportunity and how I was coming to
realize a liberating truth: I need to have the courage to let go of
things that keep me from my ultimate good.

What about you?

How committed are you to your business? If you were to rate your
commitment level on a scale of 1 -10 what number would you give
yourself? And, are you happy with that number?

If not, then why not? What is keeping you from really jumping in with
both feet and dedicating yourself to building your business?

What's stopping you from giving it all you've got and building the
kick-butt organization you know you want?!

For the rest of the speech I spent time in deep confession, as both
teacher and student talked about a tough subject. It's called
pruning. Just like the gardener who must cut away dead, unproductive
parts of a plant, we need to cut away bad habits, dead-end
activities, negative people, and even tempting opportunities that
keep us from our ultimate good.

These dead "leaves" in our lives block the "sun" from coming in and
nourishing our true destiny.

Do you, like me, need more sun to reach your business? Then cut away
some dead leaves like disorganization, procrastination, and even
tempting opportunities that keep you from your ultimate good.

Do you, like me, need more sun to reach your key relationships? Then
cut away some dead leaves like TV watching or a critical tongue.

Do you, like me, need more sun to reach your physical health? Then
cut away some dead leaves like sleeping in too late or laziness.

Do you, like me, need more sun to reach your attitude? Then cut away
some dead leaves like negative people and negative thinking.

Let's be honest, pruning, or cutting away, hurts! It wasn't easy for
me to decline that principal position. It may not be easy for you to
cut out your bad habits, negative thinking, critical tongue, or any
of the other dead leaves that are blocking the sun from your success.

But when you have the courage to cut away parts of your life that
drain precious time and energy from what's truly important, you
liberate yourself by making room for abundance!

"Have the courage to let go of the things that keep you from your
ultimate good."

I will not be experiencing what it's like to be a principal of a
school. However, I'm having an outrageous time experiencing great
success in my speaking career. I am truly amazed at the rapid success
I've experienced since I've made the effort to get rid of those
things that were holding me back. The bottom line, my friend, is all
it takes to make it BIG in your business is all you've got. Give it
all you've got today!

Richest blessings,

Lisa Jimenez M.Ed.
Posted by wxyz at 01:05 AM | make me smile