dance dance dance

You do not have to be good.
You do not have to walk on your knees
for a hundred miles through the desert repenting.
You only have to let the soft animal of your body
love what it loves.
Tell me about despair, yours, and I will tell you mine.
Meanwhile the world goes on.
Meanwhile the sun and the clear pebbles of the rain
are moving across the landscapes,
over the prairies and the deep trees,
the mountains and the rivers.
Meanwhile the wild geese, high in the clean blue air,
are heading home again.
Whoever you are, no matter how lonely,
the world offers itself to your imagination,
calls to you like the wild geese, harsh and exciting â??
over and over announcing your place
in the family of things.

-Wild Geese

How much do i want dessert? Would i go sleepless if i don't taste it? Will i still want it even if they say my teeth will get rotten from too much? or if mommy says no, will i still go for it? What if i don't have enough change to buy one, will i look for one? Will i find a way?

Yes? maybe... Mom says only people with money can afford desserts after meals.

A friend offered to buy me one last tuesday. well, do i really deserve desserts? I don't think i'm a good girl. i don't deserve one. it takes too much effort anyway. my mom doesn't want me to get one either. and where would i get the money? I will just content myself with daily bread.

Life's heaviest burden is to have nothing to carry.
-yes, hallowness.

We achieve in proportion to what we attempt. The truth is that you are never as far from the answer as it first appears.

Lots of folks confuse bad management (decision-making) with destiny.

The impact of any person is determined by the cause for which she lives and the price she is willing to pay.

You have no right to anything you have not pursued, for proof of desire is in the pursuit.

What is my burden then? Where does my heart lead my?
What do i attempt?
What answers do i seek?
What decisions do i face?
What am i pursuing (or not)?

Sometimes it's not about trying hard, being smart, maybe it's about those flat word beliefs that i hold that stop me from breaking through.
The beliefs that build scotomas that stop me from seeing (or maybe feeling) and especially doing that would make things happen.

Does my dream excite me? Kailan ba talaga matupad yun o ok lang na hindi? Is it big enough? Maybe i should go back to the drawing board.

i love not to be loved in return.
i love because i love.

newness.

i wanna open my chest and expose my heart to the night air of summer.

i wanna make love to the world.

i wanna smoke on top of an overpass. making movies of us taking pictures together in the city.

magbilang ng bitwin. uminom. matulog ng sandali sa daan. lakarin ang maynila. sumakay sa jeep. umuwi pagsikat ng araw.


trinket or treasure?

i point a gun to my head.

click,

boom.

.......

now, a hole into my head. i walked down the road.

i believe in mental telepathy. i wonder who ever thought about the war between tongue and teeth.

i understand emotional telepathy.
i'm the frequency transmittor.

you pass through me. i understand you. you fit right into the space i have for myself.

.......

i point a gun to my head.

click, click,







boom.

......

i live in three planes.

x,y,z.

you live in all three.

.....

i point a gun to my head.

click, click,



click,
click,

"f*@k!"

boom.

.....

i don't know know where i go. i left markers along the path, sidewalks, even across rivers. i tried to make some paper cup lines to connect the three but it wouldn't bend straight.

.....

which plane did we go? what did you say?

yes in X, no in Y. don't know in Z.

brushed the soldier's shoulder in Z when in X only saw them on TV.

.....

you/i put a gun into my heart.

click,click,

boom!

pain and sacrifice is temporary.
regret is forever.

if you take life easy now, life will be tough on you.
i'd rather pay in 4 years and play the rest of my life.

how big is your vision?
how far into the future can you see?
how wide through the present's horizon can you recognize and behold?

how sharp is your mind?
how large is your heart?

move. move.

you have to leave all your issues at home. actually, leave 'em and go out there. it's over and done with. stop being a sissy.

1 million pesos. is it big? is it a huge sum?
10 million? 50 million? 500 million? 1 billion?
your net worth is only equal to the value that you put into other people's lives.

if you consider a million pesos. that's so little!! (but it's a step. let's take it one step at a time.)

what makes you really, i mean really excited?
you don't know??? well, go find one!