dance dance dance

just watched Akeelah and the Bee.
ang cute ng movie. =)

how would you know?
sure is for those people who don't love enough.

hi now!
i've been contemplating about life, and all...
like i haven't stop right?
hehe

anyways, really now,
first of all just like to say i'm really happy right now - well, recently.
iba talaga once you've really decided to live life.
i mean really decided to start living the life you really want.
i mean really not just read about it, talk about it, rant about it, imagine, or act like you're doing it, nah it won't work.
nothing beats the real thing of actually doing it.
and i guess one area that i'm really proud of is my spiritual life.

i remember rhea horilleno telling us during our christmas party at le pavillon to choose one area of your life that you want to improve on for 2008. and i remember saying to myself how can you just focus one and leave the rest behind. and then during the caliraya boot camp 2 weekends ago, belle told us to choose which area we'd like to focus on and what we want to imporve on it out of the 5 areas like health and fitness, finances, family, spritual and contribution. i chose spiritual. (the reason why she asked us to choose one because we lack time na. anyways, i took one to heart and i did.)

i don't say i'm holier than thou or what not but it feels so fine to be in God again. to be with my Ultimate Lover, friend, Father, Savior. it's crazy! haha i think most of my life's passion comes from this desire for Him na, to live that ultimate life of gratitude for Him and out of love i feel for him.

it's explicable and really crazy. if i'm reading the preceding words just a few months back, i'd won't even finish this post anymore. it sounds uber corny and cheesy. hahaha
but like i said, i'd like more corny in my life.

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one thing also that added to all this ecstasy i'm experiencing is the fact that i've decided and not just decide but actually choose, strive, resolve, DO to keep promises to myself. i try to lower my expectations to myself so i it would be terribly ridiculous if i don't just to gain my self-trust back. it all started when i said to myself i won't eat past 9. and i was able to do it! yey. until i decided to stop that anymore after theo convinced me that it's not good especially if you're really hungry. he shared about the pain of ulcers and the feeling na gusto mo laging magCR.

so that's good news for me! hehe. i must admit, i love eating.
i moved on to 5 yes calls. as in yun lang, no other thing, no calling customers, no waking up early, and i actually did it na - 5 yes calls! i feel fantastic on everyday i do it! it spread in all other areas. i like myself more. and then after 2 days, sobrang easy na, 10 yes calls. as in yun. then i turned to fulfilling everything on my to-do list.as in really na.

i try to make only a few things on my to-do list just to make sure i really do them. yes, yes, i admit it, that's how bad i am at fulfilling my word. that's why i'm taking the control back. one little thing at a time!
as in one little thing at a time.

yes, yes, i've eaten myself alive. i've cringed about how i have such double standard towards myself and others and i don't want that agony anymore.

hi again.
i'm not done yet.
earlier around 9PM on my way home from Henny's house i'm driving along del monte pass Banawe, naiwasan kong banggain ang isang kalalakihan!
i think i was driving around 50kph and all of a sudden a man was slowly crossing the street.
i hit the brake and swerved to my left.
thank God there was no approaching cars!!!!
thank God that man's life was spared!
and thank God that i was spared of that experience to having to deal with that accident, if ever it happened.
thank God talaga!
blessed yung guy noh and ako rin.

stories like this that don't usually happen. fascinating stuff you wouldn't want to miss sharing.
stuff like this that happened last monday.
haha after the talk at Asian Institute of Management i went to my car. I parked a '96 Blue Honda Civic, when i went to the parking spot, i saw a 2007 Gold Honda Civic at the exact same spot! I think i parked along Gamboa street in Makati. I walked towards the next street perhaps i parked there. i couldn't find it.
there were some three guys (mga mama) bustling with the Civic and it even seemed like they were doing something not so good like stealing something or what not. i was trying to ask them how my old Blue car turned to this new Gold Civic when i saw chalk markings on the floor!!!
my car got towed!
i remember double checking the signposts along the street marking tow-away zone. i saw a car park in front of me kasi i thought okay na. i noticed the time, kala ko okay na rin. haaay.
later i found out na i parked just 15 minutes before parking was allowed.


the taxi that brought us there was patient enough with us and we were patient enough with him as we were trying to look for it.
thankfully i was with alec, chin and jarra!! iba talaga pag may company ka going through this!!
and good thing they had some extra cash with them!

when we saw the place, it was already closed, locked up. i just tried to approach it. i really didn't want to go home without the car and just go back again the next day. i shaked the gate for a while and out from the jeepneys parked there, 3 men came out!!
i eventually paid a total of P1500 to set my car free from the impounding.

there, i once again proved that when you ask, you may get, but you have to ask.

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well, that's not really my ultimate point yet. i'm just thinking...
there's plenty of all these stories pa and other issues that i can deal with here about myself and how i view life, others and chuva (i just remembered that i have a personal website in geocties pala before i started tabulas and i'm revisiting it. it's quite gripping, amusing and melancholic to go back.) but i realized ultimately, does it really matter??

i really like this quote,"you only get to keep what you give."
isn't that so true??
so no matter what experience i go through it doesn't matter if i don't share it with people, if people don't know about it, and even if they know it, how will it matter?

wala, i just feel na it's been a while that i've been focusing on myself. how bout others? i have my drama. we all have our drama...
hmmm maybe i could use them as some scenes for some of my movies in the future... hmmm

i don't want to start on this tirades. i just want to share this stuff i've been thinking. it hasn't really spread epidemically all over me but hopefully it will.

it's somthing new, fresh, exciting. well, actually, knowing yourself, seeing yourself grow does matter. and going beyond yourself is part of growing yourself. fantastic!!
weeeh