May 5th, 2009
dry
took a bath 3 times today. is this my way of coping? of letting go? life really tests you, huh? if you're really serious."do you really want what you want? you do? okay, show me... " then life throws things at you that dismantles you, your center. one moment you're so sure of yourself, what you want, your visions for yourself, your inspirations, your loves then kapoof,...startling jolt of reality... i know i know, we can manage our emotions... but i guess, i'd like things to settle for a while, after the boil, let it simmer. and maybe squeeze out learnings/realizations from it. don't get me wrong, i don't feel bad about feeling bad. it's good to feel bad sometimes. you have to trust your griefs as much as your joys. and i believe that...
is it weakness to show such vulnerability? well, maybe...perhaps. but aren't we all weak in certain areas and not to admit so is more detrimental. wow, i'm making this sadness a cognitive discussion with myself.